I Learned In Order to Heal I Had to First Feel - How Interoception + Emotional Intelligence Changed My Wellness

Femala Fleming
Aug 17
5 min read

Your body is always speaking—are you listening? I finally did.

I never chased quick health fixes—no diets or rigid rules. Instead, I’ve shifted between vegetarian, pescatarian, meat eater, and vegan lifestyles, simply by listening to what my body needed in each season. I used to hustle non‑stop—but I realized hustling harder only made life more complicated. Once I slowed down and set a pace that felt right to me, everything shifted. That meant truly listening to me—not society's standards, not the “norms,” but my gut, my intuition. I learned in order to heal, I first had to feel. I learned about the intersection of emotional intelligence and interoception.

That moment of tuning in felt like a revelation, like redemption. I discovered the fuels and rhythms that truly support me—and it transformed everything.

Why Feeling (Emotional Intelligence) & Listening to Your Gut (Interoception) Matters: Women’s Health and Today’s Data

🔹 Over 60% of U.S. women are overweight or obese, yet many struggle to detect true hunger/fullness signals due to emotional eating or chronic dieting.

🔹 Women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety disorders, often without recognizing the physical cues of burnout until it’s too late.

🔹 Black women face higher rates of hypertension, diabetes, and stress-related illness—exacerbated by systemic stress and underdiagnosis of pain or fatigue【¹】.

🔹 Studies show that low interoceptive awareness is linked to higher levels of emotional eating, depression, and even dissociation (numbing out)【²】.

These numbers aren’t just statistics—they reflect millions of women (including those who are reading this now) who are struggling with body trust, emotional eating, metabolic health, and systemic pressures shaped by stigma and unrealistic beauty ideals. Yet these numbers don’t tell the full story.

They don’t show the late nights spent emotionally eating because you're exhausted. They don’t show the silent stress we carry from caregiving, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or powering through pain. They don’t show how often we ignore our own needs—because we’ve been taught to silence them. That’s why reconnecting to our body’s inner signals—and learning how to interpret them—isn’t just helpful. It’s a non-negotiable.

What Is Interoception?

Interoception is often described as the body’s “sixth sense.” But let me break that down in real-life terms: interoception is your ability to notice what’s happening inside your body.

Feeling your heartbeat pick up before a meeting.
Sensing your stomach growling—not because it’s noon, but because you’re truly hungry.
Recognizing that tightness in your chest isn’t random—it’s stress or anxiety showing up physically.

This is the language of your body. Interoception is how you hear it.

The Five Phases of Interoception (and Why They Matter)

Most of us were never taught this—but it’s a game changer for wellness, weight loss, emotional eating, and mental health.

Here is a simplified version of the five phases of interoception:

Noticing – Becoming aware of internal sensations like fatigue, fullness, or tension.
Connecting – Linking those sensations to emotions/feelings or needs (e.g., butterflies = nervousness).
Interpreting – Understanding what that emotion/feeling is telling you (e.g., “I'm feeling unsafe.”)
Regulating – Responding with care (e.g., grounding exercises such as breath work or a simple 2 minute stretch instead of reaching for sugar).
Recovering – Returning to baseline (harmony/balance) after that internal disruption.

When I started using these five steps, everything changed. My body stopped feeling like a mystery. I stopped second-guessing my hunger, emotions and ultimately my decisions. I trusted myself again, I was more confident because I understood me.

How Emotional Intelligence Complements Interoception

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is about your relationship with your emotions. It's not about being less emotional—it's about being more aware, more skilled, and more aligned.

In my journey, I focus on two core EQ tenets:

Awareness: Recognizing what I feel and why.
Regulation: Choosing how I respond instead of reacting on autopilot.

These directly complement the five phases of interoception. In fact, when you combine EQ + interoception, you create a feedback loop that looks like this:

Interoception | Emotional Intelligence | What This Did for Me?

----------------- | -------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------

Noticing | Self-Awareness | I spotted burnout before it crashed me.

Connecting | Emotional Labeling | I could name emotions, not just “I feel off.”

Interpreting | Insight | I saw patterns in my emotional eating.

Regulating | Self-Management | I made aligned choices instead of reactive ones.

Recovering | Resilience | I bounced back from stress with ease.

Why Most Women Struggle With Emotional Intelligence + Interoception?

We weren’t raised to listen to our bodies—we were taught to override them.

“Clean your plate” (even if you’re full).
“Don’t cry” (even if you’re in pain).
“Push through it” (even if your body is screaming “slow down”).

By the time we’re adults, many of us have muted our internal cues entirely. That’s not a personal failure—it’s cultural conditioning. But we can unlearn it.

How I Practice Emotional Intelligence + Interoception

Here’s how I reconnected with my body and learned to feel in order to heal creating emotional mastery from the inside out:

Body Check-Ins:

Three times a day I pause and ask:

What do I feel emotionally?
Where do I feel it in my body?
What does it need?

Naming My Emotions

I go deeper than “I’m fine” or “I’m tired.” I say, “I feel unmotivated and heavy in my chest because I’m overwhelmed.”

Regulate with Breath Work

Five slow breaths with a long exhale resets my nervous system faster than any energy drink ever could.

Practice Mindful Eating

At least one meal a day, I eat without screens or distractions. I listen for hunger, satisfaction, and fullness—not calories.

You Don’t Need to Push Harder—You Need to Tune In

The body you’re in has wisdom. The emotions you feel carry guidance. And your wellness isn’t about doing more—it’s about hearing more. When you blend interoception and emotional intelligence, you don’t just lose weight or manage stress—you reclaim power. You reconnect to your center, your voice, and your truth.

Because when we listen within, we live differently—and that is the healthiest, sexiest, and most sustainable version of ourselves.

Are you ready to listen to what your body is saying to you?

If any part of this spoke to your spirit—if you’ve been craving a softer, more intuitive path to health, healing, and wholeness—know that you’re not alone. This is exactly the work I do inside EQ by Nahla Fitness—where we don’t chase perfection. We build trust. With our bodies. With our emotions. With ourselves.

If you're on your healing journey or just beginning to ask “what do I really need?”, you’re welcome here. And if there's a woman you love—a friend, a sister, a colleague—who needs this too? Share this with her. We rise together. We heal together. We listen within—and everything changes.

✨ Whether you’re navigating burnout, emotional eating, or just want to feel good in your skin again, I invite you to comment below and join a community of women learning to listen within—one breath, one choice, one moment at a time.

Sources & Links:

CDC Data Brief #508 (2024): https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db508.htm

Glamour – “The Obesity Rate in America is at a Record High” (2024): https://www.glamour.com/story/obesity-rate-in-america

PubMed – “Interoceptive Awareness and Emotional Eating in Women”: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34469250

MDPI – “Interoception, Intuitive Eating, and Self-Regulation in College Women” (2024): https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/16/23/3986