Silence the Inner Critic
- Femala Fleming
- Jun 18
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 19
A Path to Confidence, Joy, and Self-Freedom
On paper, you’re thriving — but behind closed doors, it’s a different story.
You’re accomplished. Respected. The one everyone counts on. On paper, you’re thriving — but behind closed doors, it’s a different story.
You look in the mirror and feel the gap.
Not just tired — drained.
Not just busy — buried.
Somewhere along the way, you lost touch with the confident, joyful woman you were always meant to be. You’ve tried all the “solutions”: the diets, the gym routines, the self-help plans — but none of them healed what was happening within. And that’s not because you’re broken. It’s because those quick fixes were never designed to silence the voice that’s been the loudest all along — your inner critic.
It’s time to quiet the noise, reclaim your joy, and finally feel free being you.
When the Mask Slips: My Own Battle with the Inner Critic
I know that voice too well. The one that creeps in when no one’s watching. The one that doesn’t match the version of me that the world sees — the strong, smiling, got-it-together woman. Even when I say, “I’m okay,” sometimes I’m really not. I’ve had days where I felt like giving up, where I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t see straight. And instead of giving myself compassion, I punished myself with more pressure.
Work harder the inner critic would say.
Sleep less, she went on.
Push through, she'd say.
Why are you eating pizza, you know what the cheese does to your body?
Do you really need that glass of wine? (Yes, I do! Even though I know one glass makes me sluggish the next day.)
Sound familiar? The thoughts don’t stop. They loop. They judge. They take over. And suddenly, you’re not living — you’re battling your own mind.
The First Shift: Forgiveness
One of the most powerful tools I’ve learned is this: forgive yourself!
I talk about forgiveness a lot — and that’s because it’s my foundation. Without self-forgiveness, you carry every version of you that you’ve judged, shamed, or resented. And those unhealed parts feed the inner critic like fuel to a fire.
You’re allowed to have off days.
You’re allowed to not always get it right.
But what you can’t allow is to stay stuck there. Forgiveness lets you step off the hamster wheel and start moving forward — with grace.
Meet Your Inner Coach: 7 Steps to Rewire Your Inner Dialogue
You weren’t meant to live under the thumb of your inner critic. You were meant to rise with the voice of your inner coach — the one who supports you, cheers you on, and helps you to keep showing up.
Here’s how to begin that transformation:
Pause for Quiet Reflection
After a long day, wokout, or even meditation — stop. Take just one minute to breathe, be still, and check in with what’s present emotionally and mentally. This is your space to reconnect.
Ask: Who Showed Up Today?
Which inner voice was driving your thoughts or behavior? Was it “The Critic” pushing you too hard? “The Safety Guard” trying to hold you back? Or maybe your Inner Coach showed up — celebrate that too.
Name That Thought
Naming creates separation. Call it what it is: “The Perfectionist,” “The Doubter,” “The Pusher,” or “The Inner Coach.” This gives clarity and takes away some of the emotional charge.
Listen to the Message
What was it trying to tell you? “You should’ve done more.” “Don’t mess this up again.” “You’ve come too far to quit now.” Capture the message — not to judge it, but to understand it.
Respond with Compassion
Say something simple like, “Thank you for trying to protect me.” Even when that voice sounds harsh, it’s often rooted in fear or past experiences. Compassion softens the edges and invites transformation.
Ask What It Needs
Now ask her: “What do you need in order to support me better?” Sometimes she needs rest. Sometimes reassurance. Sometimes a reminder that you’re already doing enough.
This simple question can shift everything.
If That Fails: Call Your Support System
If you’ve worked through steps 1–6 and still feel stuck, overwhelmed, or consumed by your inner critic — reach out. Your support system exists for a reason. Whether it’s your community, or a trusted friend, you don’t have to process alone. It's difficult asking for help when we mask our troubles so well, but don't be afraid most people are honored when you need their help!
Having people in your corner is essential — not optional. Sometimes your inner critic needs an external voice to help pump the brakes and remind you of who you truly are. Connection helps bring you back to center faster.
This is very helpful and beyond accurate sometimes the negative thoughts can be so loud. Thank you for the great read.